


Julian, have you seen my gun?

by Tartaro



Category: Trailer Park Boys
Genre: Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tartaro/pseuds/Tartaro
Summary: Ricky and Julian had a fight over some money. There was bad advice involved and... odd consequences.
Relationships: Julian/Ricky (Trailer Park Boys)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	1. It’s not sealing if it’s yours, son

**Author's Note:**

> Between seasons 7-8 vibes  
> Hello, first of all I am not a native english speaker so it may look like it was written by Ricky (ಥ﹏ಥ) this made me realize I'm very dumb in english, but if you see mistakes (that are not intentional) please tell me and I'll edit or take note on them so I can get better!

-Please dumpshit eater, stop harassing the new lady up there- Bubbles scolded one of the many cats on Kittyland, since there were new cats almost every day it was hard for him to keep order. He carried some food bags, treats and toys clumsily, and was feeling a little stressed as he always did for the kitties. Letting the things on a table sat down and took a big breath. Tense, remembered the situation of the day and something got stuck in his chest as he patted the heads of two cats, one ginger, the other one black. -I don’t know what to do- muttered, lowkey trying to make the two kitties sit together. His two friends got in a huge fight that morning, something about money. It was not the first time they were in a similar situation, but it didn’t mean Bubbles was not afraid and anxious for them. As the cats, they were his world, his family and friends, and he felt responsible for them as well. He still tried to make the cats closer, but the ginger one was distracted playing with some leaves, while the black one was relaxed laying down next to Bubbles.  
-Since my parents left, I always think there was something wrong with me or that I should’ve done something. - said at the cats, or maybe to no one, looking up at the trees and feeling the breeze. - Every time Ricky and Julian get angry, I feel like they are going to leave and that I have to prevent it. I always try, and by now I should know everything always ends well. But I still feel like if I don’t do anything. I don’t know. Fuck. –Then looked at the sun going down slowly, with a half an hour until it got dark. -I’ll talk to Ricky tomorrow; I’ll make him understand. That thick head of his doesn’t let him understand that Julian is doing everything for both of them. I always say I don’t like to be in the middle of those two shitty bastard’s problems but if I have to cover myself in shit for them, I’ll do it again, for fuck’s sake. – He took a small breath as he knew he had to calm himself and stimmed a little. 

He knew that if he tried to talk to Ricky that night, Ricky would only get mad at him too. Next day morning Ricky will be hungover, lonely and sentimental, so it was his chance. Two cat owners showed up, a tall and blond lady with a sky-blue t-shirt and jeans, and a black young man wearing a bank suit. He turned back to give them back their respective babies. Picked up one long haired, gray cat with a pink collar and leash, and the ginger one in his hands. He was charging the clients, when suddenly saw Ricky, completely wasted carrying his gun, touching his crotch and muttering something.

- _Cocksucker_ \- escaped Bubble’s mouth.

-No please don’t get mad I’ll give you the two missing dollars tomorrow morning when-

-Don’t worry about that buddy I understand- interrupted Bubbles, looking back and forth his client and Ricky walking stupidly on the street. The boy tried to look back to what was making Bubbles so scared, at which Bubbles tried to do small talk to keep his clients distracted. He was not letting them believe their kitties were in an unsafe environment. At least Ricky was not screaming and shooting.

The night arrived, the owners came and left, and when Bubbles was left alone with his own kitties, looked around to see if Ricky was still around, but as he expected he was gone. “Well, there hasn’t been shots” comforted himself. He would probably show off the gun to someone or scare Jacob with it, and would appear unconscious next morning in a ditch.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/  
**Some hours before.**

Ricky was on the floor inside the supervisor’s trailer, already drunk with a cigarette on his mouth. His bright and curly eyelashes were looking down, almost covering his clear eyes and even if he was in the shade his hair and beard looked even more red as his face was a little bit discolored by the booze and dope, blue tones remarked his anger and sadness. His father was on the couch, holding some coins and trying to count them, over and over again as he kept forgetting how much it was before taking a sip from a bottle of vodka.  
-I know I’m fucked in the head, but Julian can’t keep doing this kind of shit to me. I know I have the rights over my own fucking money, why he always does something like this like he was better than n’ stuff, he’s always the smart one with big plans and everything but it’s my money and I can use it whenever I want. “It’s for your future Ricky, we must invest”- mimicked Julian’s voice sarcastically – Eat a dick Julian. I want to get drunk and do drugs big time!

Ray turned his head heavily to him, with his eyes half closed and let some coins fall down. He did a minimum effort to incline his back forward to where they fell, but not enough to move his body even two inches, came back to initial position and closed his eyes.

-Dad are you listening to me or what- exclaimed the redhead taking his cigarette with his right hand in an accusatory manner.

-Yeah, yeah, I’m listening- answered Ray keeping his eyes shut –. It’s just, maybe you are just bitchin’ this time. If you didn’t want Julian to take your money, just, you know, take it back. Don’t be such a pussy about it. Life is great but it’s also short – Opened his eyes and smacked his tongue. Drank again from the bottle and looked at Ricky on the floor, next to the open door. -If you actually want your money be a man and either demand it to him or go take it.

-Take it as, ¿Stealing? Or, What the fuck does that suppose* to mean? – said confused, but not at all surprised.

-It’s not sealing if it’s yours, son- Said hardly audible through the effort of keeping the stomach reflux inside. That was a hard hit on Ricky’s mind. Of course, it was his money. His old man knew more than he, and he should listen as he saw all things better. He rambled for some time now about how mad he was, but his father in just a few words just gave him answers. Still it wasn’t as easy for him to just go and betray Julian. He needed to feel like it was the right choice.

\- But Julian is my best friend and If I do that, he would…

-He owes you that money- interrupted strongly Ray –, you deserve to have it, and do whatever you want with it. You are being generous to take only half as all that money he has is because you did the hard job for him. 

-Yeah, it’s ‘cuz of me! – exclaimed nodding and smoked.

-Your retirement and what you do with your money it’s not Julian’s fucking business, you can spend it all in one night and, Guess what? It’s the fucking way she goes. 

-I can get drunk if I want and I don’t need Julian bossin’ me around with that too, he can suck my dick- He was starting to feel motivated. But looked down hesitant. Could he do something like that to someone so important to him?

-Grow some fucking pants and take what is yours, or are ya Julian’s little bitch? Everybody in the park knows that.

-What, I’m not- said Ricky deeply offended. -Who said that?

-hmm I don’t know, a lot of people in the park- Lied, and drank from the bottle. Then passed it to his son. -Come on, drink. You are letting me down.

Ricky gulped the liquor. -You know I steal sometimes to people I don’t know, or sometimes people I know but are shitty people or have many things and can spare some, and I know it’s not bad because I do it to give things to Lucy and Trinity but this feels really weird, I never felt something like this…

-Ricky, you shouldn’t feel guilty for taking some money. Remember when Julian accused me of stealing him 60$? I obviously denied it, because it was not stealing. He owed me because he was living in my house without paying rent or anything! Those 60$ belonged to me because I needed them, and they were just there in my house. Julian might be a friend, but money is money. Remember friendship will not buy ya shit Ricky. Look at me! Wouldn’t you like to be like me son? You know I’m smart too, no? You don’t need him. He owes you. Go take your shit back. Help your old man Ricky, we need that money now. Buy a new trailer or stuff for the future? Why? If we have this one at the moment. Life provides, we shouldn’t worry about anything.

The more Ray talked, more motivated was Ricky. He kept talking, making sure his son was angrier and angrier at Julian for taking his money into stupid retirement and later life.

Some time passed, and Ricky chose to go steal the money. His money. Money to buy nice gifts for his daughter, eat pepperoni, get drunk and high and help his old man. He worked hard for that money, and he was no one’s little bitch. Went out of the trailer, and walked with resolute steps outside, chest open ready for action.

But deep down, even at that big drunk speech from Ray he felt he was doing something bad. Julian always did what was best for him, and never tried to harm him, yes, he made mistakes in the past, but never tried to deliberately hurt him. He started walking on the street, drunk and fighting himself about what was right or wrong, looking slowly more and more down. Why would he care what was right if he never did? Why would he question his father, who was a good one? Everything started spinning. He thought stealing was ok sometimes, or most times, then why it felt so wrong now? If Julian got mad at him, and it would happen when he stole the money, would he stop being his friend?

He stopped right in the spot. No, he would never do something intentionally that’d harm his relationship with Julian. What was he thinking? He was the most important person in his life, the one he trusted the most, his partner. He would give his life for him. He laughed at the thought of betraying him just for money, and got inside the old, stinky, doorless car that was his home and not for long if Julian found him a nice trailer for him and his family. Maybe he only liked to complain, he knew Julian was making the best decisions, he always had a plan and did more with less. Ricky lighted up another cigarette, and smiled funnily at what he almost did, and the anxiety of doing something so stupid was lifted from his shoulders.

“Or are you Julian’s little bitch?” the words from his father rumbled through all his body, and felt as if the world was paused. Then he remembered, how stupid he was. Ray knew better about things. He was the dumb one, and Julian always did with him whatever he wanted. He let it happen because he was “fucked in the head” and it was the best for some cases, he felt he was too dumb to make right decisions so it was easier and comfortable leaving Julian to carry that baggage. Maybe his dad was warning him, that Julian was taking his power over him too far. He was controlling him, instead of the situation.

-Holy shit Ray I’m sorry- Lamented. – I am not Julian’s bitch. I am no one’s bitch. I may be dumb but I still have my rights. I’ll go and take MY fucking money back. -Then the fear appeared. Remembered the time he, sadly admitted to Julian he couldn’t make it without him, that he was dumb and he knew things. There was no shame in him about being dependent on Julian, he even loved that, he was happy and he loved Julian so much, he was protected by him. But, What kind of man was he that Julian had to provide for everyone, even to Trinity? To let him keep all his money, that he too worked hard for? 

“This is all fucking shit, I’ll smoke a fucking ton’ of honey oil and hash and get so high I forget everything, so I can do my job. I am not Julian’s bitch Ray I promise” conflicted, not about smoking but for the task, started making a joint. 

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

The sunlight was turning in orange and red colors through the horizon, illuminated the living room giving it a cozy and nostalgic feeling, warm and quiet. His eyes shined like sea waters in deep blue and his face, his skin was a delight under the sundown light. The smell of rum was all over the place, but he was so used to it that it just meant the smell of home. Finally, his own trailer, he was at peace with that just at the moment, even if he was still looking at a magazine with better luxurious trailers. His dark hair with golden sun highlights fell on his forehead, and with his free hand removed it, as he kept his Mustard Glass™ in the other hand. Since Ricky left his house, rampantly complaining about the -not agreement, he felt like a vacuum in his chest. Hoped this was like other times Ricky was reluctant to follow his plans and everything just kind of fell in place so his friend was happy at him again. Even just a few hours of not seeing him, missed the redhead so hard because it was his first days “retired” and he was alone. And, maybe he would be ok being alone, if he knew Ricky was happy too. There was nothing more in that precise moment he would’ve loved the most than celebrating this huge success with his lifelong buddy. The one with the old school pompadour hair, round clear eyes, pink lips and high cheeks. His fair skin, his colorful clothes…

“Damn it” scolded himself, like every time he started thinking about every detail of Ricky and stopped turning pages for a moment. But it was impossible for him not to, he had no one else, just Ricky and Bubbles. And he was looking for a trailer for him to live in, so he was allowed to think of his best friend, how he looks, what he likes to find something that he would like. Just for that moment, said to himself, and continued to look at the magazine. 

“Look at this asshole, being so mysterious and all that with his investment magazines n stuff like he is better than me even when I’m not ‘round, just because he did all the brain learning* and I didn’t” Ricky spoked to himself furious. He touched the gun in his left gym pants’ pocket. He, never in his life considered to use it against Julian, but this time he felt so awkward, so scared he carried it with him just in case the need to scare him. It was the first time he considered the strength of Julian against him, like, it was threating now to see those big muscles, that before were something really nice to see and a protection symbol, being his enemies now. He really liked to be near them, sometimes hug them when he was as stupefied as that time. To tell him he loves him, touch his face, smile at him, how happy he was around Julian. God he was so drugged and drunk he couldn´t get his intentions straight, couldn’t focus at all, even standing up and looking through the window was a hard task.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived together?” thought Julian looking the biggest trailer size they had available. “Bubbles in a brand-new shed, me and Ricky with his child together in this big-ass home, all of us in 3 lots so trinity can play outside, I’ll give her everything she needs, make outside a play area for her and me and Ricky can make dinner every night, have some drinks…” suddenly, he felt ache. He forgot about Lucy. Rewinding the last thoughts, corrected them for “… we need two trailers, three lots and a shed.” 

For a moment, he had the feeling of being observed, like that subtle feeling on your scruff. Looked around, but saw nothing. “Maybe I’m drunk…” stood up to make some dinner and all the dizziness hit up. “Yeah, I’m drunk”. He never drank to that point, just to get by the day, unless something was hitting hard. He was not going to accept being wrong for this choice, and much less accept he felt hurt. -I’m doin’ this for ya, idiot. - Said out loud next to the fridge. He was so afraid Ricky would use that money in nonsense when it could resolve his retirement. He feared for his future. And he feared for Trinity, he loved her as his niece, or maybe, A daughter?

Ricky got up as he was on the floor trying to escape Julian’s eyes. Everything started spinning around, so he put his hand on the reed wall to find balance. He felt like puking, but hold himself together. “I love that dude so much, but he is so smart and so handsome, he can get any chick and forget about me” thought suddenly as he remembered Julian had some studies, everybody desired him and his body, calling him “sexian” and always got what he wanted. Julian will never be his alone, everybody in the park cherished Julian, and he was just, stupid Ricky. Only had his daughter and sometimes Lucy. He had to keep them at all costs, Julian already won by not being his alone, it was now his time to have something. An old couple was passing by, and Ricky as paranoid as he was saw them smiling, laughing at and insulting him, closer and closer each time harder and louder - FUCK OFF! - screamed at the old couple, who were just passing by.

-Hell no- whispered Julian to himself at the thought of fatherhood. Looked around again as he thought he heard Ricky’s voice somehow, but remembered he was very drunk and just forgot about it. He hated that first concept on him, even if he loved kids. There was this sentiment of dryness, sadness about infancy, as he was all alone in his childhood and his main goal was to survive and keep Bubbles and Ricky safe. Blocked memories started floating here and there, so he took another sip to his glass and kept looking at the almost empty interior of the fridge. But what if it was not fatherhood in a traditional way? What if it was something like a co-parent? J-Roc and T seemed to be just fine with that, Would Ricky accept that?

Suddenly, the sound of glass being broken and something heavy hitting the carpet came to his ears. He waited a moment, no, he would not hallucinate those things only drunk. Heard some heavy steps, things falling down, chaos in his bedroom. “Someone is here” he was just, not in the mood at that moment. The fact that he could gain everyone’s respect just by demanding it was a thing he was proud of, but that specific time, having an intruder really irritated him. Had a deep breath, and decided to go see what was happening.

While Julian was walking towards the room, heard a single and small “fuck” from this well-known voice to him. Stopped halfway as he heard more movement, and was so bothered to recognize who was there that just came back to his chair and waited for the intruder to come out, but instead it followed a big thud.

-Ricky? - Asked, getting no answer. -Ricky what are you doing. I’m going to give you five seconds for you to come out and explain to me what the fuck is goin’ on.Again, nothing. If Ricky was something, was noisy and violent, he could not be doing anything, unless being unconscious, making no sound. Even sleeping, the snores were strenuous. “Unconscious” thought again. Maybe fell asleep while doing some roguery while drunk because he was still mad at him, but that thud was, suspicious.

Opened the door, and there he was face down on the floor and around his right side was something… red. A very wine like red liquid, but thicker, slower. “Shit shit shit” was the only thing he could think of while running towards the redhead, unconscious, bleeding like never before.


	2. Anime

Bubbles was tucked in bed, with some soft mint pajamas. Three kitties decided to sleep with him that day and they were watching channel 10. Bubbles was thinking to turn off the tv and the lights, but was lazy about it and didn’t feel like sleeping yet, like when all day you had things to do and didn’t have time to enjoy yourself. “Bàofù xìng áoyè” said to himself smiling, with his eyes looking very tired. Had some dinner, the weather was feeling just the right level of chillness to feel comfortable under some covers, the day ended up being just fine and now was a “me” time for him. Next morning, he would go and look for philosophy books, motivated because of the Chinese term he just said to himself to keep being the smart and cultivated one. Maybe for some egg rolls too.

He saw it was very late, so decided to cut it off and get some sleep. Standing up moving one of the cats to get a piss, a gunshot startled him as he heard it just behind him.  
-What the hell! What is going on! I _pissed_ my fucking pants! -screamed each word higher than the last one, realizing it was not in his shed, just really close. 

Suddenly, heard something muffled that sounded like Julian angrily screaming, and started running towards his trailer next to his shed.

**A little time before**  
Everything was blurry, his eyes took longer than normal to adjust at the light and get properly focused. His mouth was incredibly dry, and as he slipped into consciousness his head felt light and dizzy, like nothing was really there, but felt clearer and more present. He was lying on a couch under the yellow light of a tall lamp, rising his head saw that Julian fell asleep sitting on the individual couch, the glass was in his chest and looked like he had spilled the drink on himself. The tv was on and its light reflected on Julian’s face, muted, and everything else was dark except for the living room. His head pain was increasing rapidly, as well as his left forearm that was wrapped in bandages, which had blood stains on it. He couldn’t open his eyes fully, but when he could see better saw some stains too in Julian’s neck and left cheek, brown as if they were dry.

-Hell- exclaimed softly to not wake up Julian, as the pain on his arm felt worse than the one in his head. He was also having a very, very hard hungover at the same time he felt still drunk and high. His stomach was upset, and he knew sooner or later he would have to puke, so decided to go to the bathroom before it happened. But when he stood up saw light spiders behind his eyes and everything went dark for a second, suddenly his head hit on the floor. 

-Fuck, Ricky! - woke up Julian and went to help him get reincorporated. Ricky covered his eyes with his hand when he sat up, like a child that was trying to get awake.

-What happened Julian? I am so fucked up… – He remembered, going to his trailer, armed and got red with shame. -Did I… -He had blackouts, and couldn’t remember if he did something to Julian. The fact that he went to rob him and still was being taken care of started to confuse him. 

-You lost so much blood buddy, I had to call Sam Losco for advice – Said Julian putting his hand on his shoulder, trying to make eye contact -How do you feel? The caveman said you’ll probably be anemic after this, don’t get up too quickly or you’ll get dizzy, come on, let me help ya.

Julian saw the color of his friend change again. Ricky’s skin turned into a very white-sick tone. -Tell me, Are you ok?

-I think I’ll vomit Julian…

The dark-haired man helped him to get to the bathroom, positioned him at the side of the toilet, waited for a moment stroking his hair until he started puking. Went outside for his glass and started making a drink. Detained himself when the sounds of puking stopped for a second. Memories of other similar situations came along with a breeze of nostalgia, they both alone, drunk watching movies, having sleepovers when they were kids, teenagers and young adults. The same feeling hit through his chest, it never left, it was something he always tried to classify as a strong platonic love for his friend, but it never fit completely in that position so he always put it back in his head… He couldn’t believe having Ricky vomiting in his bathroom would be a trigger for some of those feelings. 

-Are you Ok Ricky? -No answer came out for a moment, and the sound of the flush was a slight relief for Julian. -Tell me if you need me buddy, I’ll be ‘round here. – Left the beverage ready on the counter because he might need his both hands, and went to see him anyway. His head was resting on the seat, eyes teary, hair was a mess and looked completely exhausted. Julian squatted at his side, and with both hands raised up Ricky’s face who was now looking at him.

-Do ya want a toothbrush? I have an extra one around here I can give it to ya…- Ricky hold Julian’s hand in his cheek at the moment he tried to turn over to look for the toothbrush. Julian, a little bit surprised turned again to see his friend, whose lips moved but nothing came out. He still felt drunk, but was aware and didn’t want to say anything wrong, as he always did.

-Yeah, I can use that toothbrush, gosh my heart feels funny- said finally with his eyes half closed, and Julian started looking for it. The older one knew Ricky was trying to say something important, but he was not the kind of people that would hesitate on saying anything, and he never apologizes honestly, curiosity started growing in Julian about what the redhead did not say, but it didn’t matter anyway so forgot it in the moment.

When the toothbrush was found, Julian helped Ricky to stand up by putting an arm over his neck and holding his waist with the other hand. He could feel Ricky could stand up alone, but felt his legs shaking and didn’t want to let him fall down again, not on his watch. Ricky on his left side could closely look at Julian’s face and the blood stains were still there.

When Ricky finished, stopped Julian when he wanted to take him outside, took a towel and put it under the water. Then proceeded to softly clean Julian’s face as he was looking down, trying with all his strength to fight the hungover, pain and weakness to finish that task.

-Look you had blood in your face or something-Said Ricky showing him the towel separating himself a little -It felt weird that you left something like that in yourself, you are a freaking clean*. How did it happen? Is it my blood?

-I didn’t notice, thanks. Hey bud don’t ya want to sit down? – He held his waist stronger as he felt Ricky going away and losing his balance- Maybe I got stained when I carried you to the living room, Losco said that all the alcohol made you lose that shit faster and that’s why you fainted.

-Yeah I can get anime n’ shit.

-Anemia.

-Yeah animea but you don’t have to worry ‘bout it, Julian. I just have to sleep a little, tomorrow I’ll eat bacon and eggs for breakfast and I’ll be just fine.

-Do you want to stay for the night? I don’t want you to walk through the dark like this. 

-Like the old times? - Said Ricky with bright open eyes. 

-Sure buddy. -Julian felt the excitement of sleeping again in the same bed with Ricky floating around his chest, but like always, he didn’t show it. Took Ricky to the bedroom, went for some water, snacks and his glass with his rum and coke, then in the bedroom took out a VHS from an old box at the side from the TV cabinet and put it into the player. Ricky could smell cleaning products, and felt a little chilly. Looking around, noticed one of the windows was broken and had a cardboard instead. Julian offered Ricky water and food, and literally forced him to eat and drink a little, and sat down on the bed next to him leaning on the wall.

-Remember when I had to go away from home ‘cuz Ray got too bad and your dad was gone for a few days each time? Your grandma fell asleep around 10, drunk as fuck and I could sneak into your room with a bottle, some pepperoni and dope. I know you don’t talk much about those days but I loved those days and I loved you Buddy- said Ricky, resting his head on Julian’s shoulder, looking at “The outsiders” movie title on the screen. – You were always right Julian… So mature, smart and strong I was a child and you took care of me man, no one else did, Ray was a good parent n stuff but you helped me a lot too.

Julian knew Ricky could be the most violent, blatant and morally gray person, but was also the most transparent and affectionate, and even if he felt like he could not react to his “I love you buddy” speeches with the same energy, they filled his heart. Ricky was never afraid to accept and express his love for him and his family and that was something that always was bittersweet for Julian.

-You came here for the money, right? -asked Julian, his tone was low as he felt sad for bringing on that subject in a moment like that.

-I... How... look man I was passin’ around and I thought- Ricky was ready to make up a story.

-Shh Ricky, you were right. -Interrupted Julian and took a moment to think how would he word what he wanted to say – I think maybe I still think of you like when we were kids and you needed my help, but you are a man and you can use your money however you want. I’m sorry. I think I was doing the best for ya but I… You get me, Right? You can have it. I hid it under the bathroom sink, behind a fake bottom of a drawer. But you gotta pay for my broken window Rick.

-Ray told me to get it back Julian. I didn’t want to make you hurt but you know how can it be with the old man, I wasn’t sure what to do, it’s not my fault. I didn’t want to do this I swear he told me I had to… I broke your window because I thought you weren’t here so I could grab the bag but I cut my fucking wrist and I got so panicked ‘cuz I know how mad you get when your floor is dirty and stuff, that’s the last thing I remember, like this feeling like I had to run away.

-There was blood on the last drawer. -Said Julian. They both knew that was the place where they would hide things that belonged to both of them so Ricky could grab them whenever he wanted or needed them. -I had to clean up, the room had a trail of blood like some horror movie shit, all over the floor. And you were just…  
They both stayed silent. Ricky was amazed at how Julian, no matter what, would always seem to save him.

-You knew I would steal the money? And that’s why you moved it?

-Actually, no I didn’t know you’d do this. I just felt scared that anyone would come and steal everything we own, or someone that hated me like Cyrus or whatever could come and… kill me and you and Bubbles would be left without nothing. I was planning on telling Bubbles about that.

Ricky opened his eyes and saw Julian’s face, while he took a sip from his rum and coke. The fact that Julian could be gone from his life was something his mind couldn’t take a grasp on and just shook his head slowly. -No Julian don’t think about ugly stuff, nothing can happen to ya I am here and I will shoot Cyrus on his goddamned ugly ass face if he tries to do something to ya. Nothing has ever happened to you and never will, man, and it’s like, he never dared to do something to you, he can’t and nobody can. 

Julian smiled softly. -I know buddy, I know. Don’t worry about it, it was just a precaution.

Ricky took Julian’s face with his hands and made him look at him straight in the eye. -I swear dude. I fucking swear. We’ve got each other’s backs. You know I’m really dumb I shouldn’t take the money; what Ray told me to do was a mistake. You do what you think is the best for me and it always is man, I am fucking stupid, but you are smart. 

They looked at each other. At first Julian maintained a soft smile, but then it vanished when saw Ricky completely serious, his clear and open blue eyes resembled a clear sky, they were always a delight to see. -When I tell you that I love you I’m dead serious man, and I know you love me back even if you don’t say it to me all the time like I do. You don’t have to. I mean, sometimes you do things for me and in a way that’s the same for me as if you told me, like the thoughts in my head are not very clear about It like words but I know.

That last sentences killed the guard Julian sustains with other people. Left the glass on his nightstand and hugged Ricky with both arms around his neck, Ricky’s head on his broad chest. -come on dude, I love you, I do say it. You are my best friend since childhood, of course I do.

-You know Julian I think that you will find a good, smart chick and you will be happy with her because you told me we are not gay so we must find girls, Right? You told me that I wasn’t gay because I am attracted to Lucy. I have Lucy and you are going to be with someone else and that’s why I wanted the money back too. But this plutonium shit we have going on is too much, I don’t actually like the thought of you needing someone else to be happy because I don’t need anybody else that is not you… I know you like girls and I am not a girl but you don’t need’em, not really, they are not like food or stuff you know, like that shit you need to live. I love Lucy in like the gay way but not gay, as much as I wish to be with you, Ya get it? 

They both smiled at each other, Julian remembered daydreaming about the both of them living together and sighed. Started playing with the redhead’s hair, hearing him talk and talk like when they were younger and would hug when things were bad at each other’s homes, not taking him seriously -Don’t talk nonsense, are you comparing me with Lucy? We can be together as always, we are friends.

-Remember when we were like 18 or something, and we kissed as a joke? I sometimes think it was not that bad. Why would be bad? It’s like a kiss with a girl, it’s a fucking kiss. Like I actually think it’s cool that some people can see other people attractive without looking at the gender or complicated stuff like that. Like sometimes I check you out and say, damn Julian would be very attractive to me if I was gay but I am not and that’s a shame.

-Are you crazy? - burst Julian surprised, releasing the younger one from his embrace. -Dude are you telling me you check me out? Are you insane?

-Yeah, What’s wrong about it? Can I get some smokes?

-No Rick you are not smoking right now. You will eat what I brought ya and drink WATER. 

-At least you can share with me some fucking rum and coke asshole, I’m getting fucking sober, you know if I don’t smoke or drink, I get...

Julian grunted, got his glass and gave it to his companion a with a face of discontentment. Ricky drank half of the beverage and rested the glass on his belly. His hand hurt, but it was not the biggest pain he ever had in his life, so just breathed hard and moved it aside as if that would make the pain go but it didn’t. 

-I do check you out Julian and I know you check me out too, I’m not deaf or something I mean  
-I do NOT check you out Ricky not in that way, jeez- exclaimed Julian looking away, trying to fixate his eyes onto something else -You are too drunk and too high and overall fucked up with the blood loss and stuff Ricky, it’s better for you to go to sleep. You are talking nonsense. Shut up.  
-Jules, I know your dad used to tell you we were faggots in a bad way ‘cuz we were always together but  
-Please Rick stop right now, don’t be this fucking stupid.  
-There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to men! Men are cool too, you liked Patrick Swayze and he’s very handsome, there’s nothing wrong with bangin’ men too, I mean they can be sexy sometimes. If I was gay, I would bang you but you would have to accept it to be ok. Dude, I told you, maybe **I AM** gay.

-Ricky that’s one of the stupidest things you ever said to me- Said Julian frowning, completely disgusted took the glass from Ricky’s hand with force, standing up -Don’t fucking bring my father into a conversation like this you moron- pointed at the redhead with his free hand - , stop saying you would bang me because it’s not fucking true, you are not fucking gay, and I am surely not too!- as he talked he walked away from the bed, knuckles white around the glass. Ricky started to get nervous about him breaking the glass due the force of his hand. -I’m going to sleep on the couch, tomorrow morning you are goin’ leave and don’t fucking talk to me about this shit ever again Ricky, Fuck!

Ricky saw him storm out of the room. Took one of the bags of chips that were laying on the nightstand, opened it and started looking at the TV. -Fucking Patrick Swayze -exclaimed angrily when he appeared on the screen. He couldn’t stand Julian getting mad at him, but he was not going to apologize for saying what he thought. Looked at his bandaged arm as he felt really tired, maybe the dark haired was right once again and he only needed to sleep because what he said was nonsense. Julian really looked like Julian’s dad when he was young, because he expressed himself that way before he started getting worse and worse through the years, and felt the fight or flight response coming for a second. Because of that had the gun on his mind, and remembered he hadn’t seen it since he woke up. 

The bigger man, sitting on the couch felt his throat closing and pain, but he would not cry. There was no way his body allowed that since third grade. He couldn’t and started thinking about how dead inside he was. How his dad made him feel like shit to the point he accepted it and that was it. He had no rights to love, to be fun, to cry. When he had relationships with women, always got really sad when he realized he chose someone who was out of his range to come and save him from himself, and that person couldn’t, or just fully betrayed him over and over again. He was unfixable, a doom. He would give his life for the people from the park, because those people gave him love and he owed them all. But Ricky never wanted to fix him, he just saw him for who he was and that was it. That was everything Ricky needed to love him. Finished the glass, but it aside and closed his eyes trying to make the pain away. The fact that, most of the times he would end giving up everything for Ricky, annoyed him to the point of clenching his fists. Because Ricky was right. They always chose each other before anyone else and that made the words of his father rumble inside his head. He cared for Ricky, and would sometimes look at him with all kinds of eyes, love, friendship, complicity, and sensuality. Maybe he had to accept that thinking on sharing home for the rest of his days with him was not in a full platonic way, but in a romantic way, and that hurt like a million stings. 

A few minutes later, he heard a light sound coming from the aisle. Opened his eyes, and there was Ricky holding onto the wall looking around. Had to gather courage before he could talk.

-Julian, have you seen my gun? I know I had it with me when I came here but now, I can’t find it anywhere. Do you have it?  
-Why do you need it now, just go to sleep I gave you my bed tonight.  
-I want to leave. And I want to leave with my gun. Give it back Julian, don’t be a cunt. -As always, he communicated hostility only with his round eyes, half of his face was in the darkness, Julian knew he was being serious. -I’ll fucking tear apart your kitchen if you don’t give it back Julian I swear.  
-Where are you going to sleep Ricky you can’t even walk all to the the end of the aisle on your own, are you telling me you will go all the way to your car? That’s a fucking joke.  
-That’s none of your business where do I sleep Julian. Please give me my gun I’m fucking serious man! I don’t want to be here anymore! Fuck! - said Ricky loudly, almost screaming.  
-Jeez man! Shut the fuck up! - screamed Julian getting up, walking through the living room as Ricky walked to the kitchen still holding onto the walls and furniture because he was scared to fall down as he felt his legs weak.  
-Well Julian I wouldn’t be angry if you were not such a bitch and gave me my fucking gun! **I want to FUCKING leave!!!** – he stumbled a little because of the effort he made screaming, got dizzy and hold himself harder with his arms. Julian opened a drawer in the kitchen. Took out the gun and when he almost placed it in Ricky’s hand took it back again.

-Don’t do this to me, please -Changed his tone Julian dramatically, to almost sound like he was begging. That took the redhead for surprise and froze in the spot, as the bigger one looked him straight on the eye. -Please man, don’t be like this dude, I will get upset if you leave, because you are fucking HURT. I’m not taking you to the hospital, what if someone tries to investigate us? so the best thing I can do is take care of you myself. Even if you are being an asshole, I need you to sleep here, just for the night, and tomorrow someone else can take care of you. It’s getting cold outside, you were in shock and you are weak now, don’t tell me you are not. Losco said to me that for at least three days you should not get in trouble because you lost a dangerous amount of blood and someone should keep an eye for you. Please man don’t do this to me. – The arm that had the cut failed Ricky, and Julian putting his arms under his armpits prevented him from falling down to the floor.

Ricky took a second to come back to the real world, and his eyes focused directly at Julian’s gold chain. -Do ya get what I’m saying now? Come on – Said Julian, his voice rumbled in his chest with effort, as Ricky was heavy even for his muscles. Ricky stood up little by little but Julian wouldn’t let him go that easily, stayed there as his support until he felt the redhead was more stable, and started walking him to his room.

Julian was still scolding Ricky, but he could not care less about what he was saying. He felt dizzy and tired, and realized he was stunned by the lips of his friend on his angry face, which was soft, pinkish with a slight tan, his profound blue eyes looking where they stepped on. While Julian was putting him once again on bed, leaned clumsily towards his face, and started kissing him. Julian with one hand grabbed him by the shirt and almost punched Ricky with all his strength with the other hand, stopping midair in a single move, they both looked at each other, very still and afraid. Ricky felt all the air from his lungs leaving him, so frightened at Julian’s expression of rage very close to him. His fingers were clinched to Julian’s arms, in a cautious, prepared manner, holding him away, his head and heart pounding, but didn’t try to go away and changed slowly his expression into one that said “hit me if you dare”. Julian’s face expression completely disfigured into a very hurt one, shutting his eyes, as he lowered his arm and hugged the redhead devastated. It was a coward move from him. He loved that he kissed him. He loved what he did, and never felt more regret at a mistake. Ricky embraced him, started to lay down and with his weight took Julian down with him, on top. 

Ricky kissed Julian’s lips caressing his back and his arms back and forward softly, kindly. He knew he had to play his cards well, because the wrong movement could trigger a bad reaction from Julian, but was very confident on nailing it, as no lover had said anything wrong about him before. The older man with both his hands and legs at Ricky’s sides on the bed, leaned to be kissed, never thought someday would feel this kind of emotion again, the nervousness like the first time he made out with his first love, the excitement, the uncertainty like he could not know what would happen next. Ricky’s pink lips felt so soft against his face and now his neck, his red beard and his cold nose touching against him. He dared, shakingly to put his hand on Ricky’s chest. Julian was so confused at the fact that he considered himself a very good lover, but now he felt completely lost and afraid like never before, like in a roller coaster. Ricky sat up, and leaned on the wall pulling Julian towards him by the gold necklace and kissed him on the lips again.

Turning his head as he reached Ricky again, Julian decided to fully participate, and locked him in an embrace, both of his hands surrounding Ricky’s waist, without stopping the long and more energetic kiss, started to caress his body, his soft chest, belly and waist, to kiss his neck as he explored from over the clothes his soft, thick body, all of his back, his sides, then his hair and the back of his neck. Ricky turned his head back to give more space for Julian to kiss, Julian’s goatee feeling tickly and his hand pressing his skin and flesh, starting to feel the atmosphere change into a heavy and musky one. The discomfort he felt was still there, but he tried to ignore it to give Julian the chance to get off by him, he was not going to let him go that easily. With his pale hands started to press on Julian’s muscles, harder but still caringly, trying to not compromise too much his hurt arm. Ricky’s breathing started to sound slightly louder, and he would react more, moving his hips and body slowly and controlled at the touch, and the black haired felt that characteristic void in his stomach, pure emotion and excitement the more he touched Ricky’s cold, soft skin. He could feel his own temperature rise, took a moment to breathe and looked up and down to Ricky sitting there, his face was flushed, his cheeks in a pink-red tone making his freckles harder to see, his red hair down, his bandaged hand was on the top of his head and the other one was in his left arm and for some reason it was better than he imagined to be. Ricky took that time to look at him too, directly at his eyes, his forehead was starting to get sweaty, his cheeks a little flushed and pulled him down again. 

Julian put his hands around Ricky’s tights, and pulled him down to him, Julian’s hips in the middle of Ricky’s legs, the redhead with his back lying flat down completely took a profound breath as he felt the thing was getting real and moved his hips harder in a rhythmic motion, making friction on Julian’s crotch, the air through his throat and nose made a loud noise as he tried to keep it in and not make a vocal noise yet. Julian felt the friction up and down his hips, pressing with his fingers over the track pants the tights of his lover, trying to get him as close as he could, starting to feel pressure under his Jeans. Ricky’s breathing was now loud and through his mouth sometimes, with a face expression Julian never looked before, who leaned over Ricky putting one arm under him and with the other finding balance to not crush him, both bellies and chests touching, and started moving his hips and body too, slowly at the same rhythm as Ricky did. They were now getting really invested on it, looking from time to time at each other expression, feeling each other breaths in their necks and faces. Sweat was getting visible, each thrust faster that the last one, their hearts pounding at the soft skin but hard touch of their bodies, and Julian decided it was enough. Sitting up took his shirt off, letting Ricky stunned. With rough manners took both of the pale one’s wrists in a strong grip over his head and against the mattress, making Ricky moan in pain.

-Fuck Ricky forgive me- busted Julian scared, and moved a little back, releasing the hurt arm -, I- I think we should stop, you are sick and, and…  
-Don’t be fucking stupid- said Ricky half sitting up under Julian, unbuttoning his blue shirt with a smirk, making a huge effort that was not noticeable for Julian to make a sensual eye contact, raised his brows once daringly, so Julian decided to go on and help him with his old pants. Once Ricky was naked, Julian realized the rumors in the park were true. Ricky was huge, his member was as thick as a wrist, a pink, red headed champion, and was not even fully erect. With his eyes wide open put his hands around it, and started stroking it not sure of what was he seeing. 

-Holy shit Ricky, Jesus.  
-Thanks, impressed? Or jealous? – laughed a little, letting out a moan at the end as he felt more and more turned on as the black-haired guy stroked his dick with his hands, with his member erect too under those jeans in the middle of Ricky’s legs. He tried to laugh mischievously sometimes but only let out satisfactory groans to Julian. Those big biceps moving at every stroke his dick received, pectorals contracted, his abdomen trying to contain how turned on he was, moving softly his hips against Ricky’s erection that was getting harder and harder until it was like a literal bone. -Oh god Julian, keep it going…

Ricky saying his name in that tone was what needed Julian to let himself go. Masturbating Ricky with one hand Julian leaned over him again to kiss his neck, his chest, and the other hand pressed his ass cheek and squeezed here and there. Ricky was feeling drunk under Julian’s touch, he wanted more, with his hand looking for Julian’s cock to masturbate him at least over his pants until he found an edge and tried to stroke it too, but was too far so only skimmed it a little. Started to feel desperate as he knew his wrist was bleeding again so he started to stick more and more to Julian, his shirtless body against him with each rub sending him into a frenzy state, determined to make the both of them finish before he had to do something about his arm. -Ah, ah, Julian please. Please take off your pants. Fuck – whispered into Julian’s left ear drowning in Julian’s hand-job. Julian leaned back to open his jeans, but before he took them off, Ricky sat up and decided it was a good idea to squeeze really hard the verge he felt before as a foreplay, and felt the gun in Julian’s pocket instead.

Julian took out the gun. -Are you into this kind of games? -Said Julian playfully, showing off the gun jokingly like a gangster and the both of them laughed.  
-Oh my god -Laughed Ricky deeply, so happy to see Julian so relaxed. -if those games are with you sure the fuck I am.  
-Fuck I’m getting so hard. -said, opening his pants as Ricky requested it. Ricky tried to help staining with blood himself and Julian’s jeans.  
- **Fuck!** -Exclaimed as he knew it was a huge turn off -I’m sorry Julian you know my arm and stuff.

-Don’t worry, we have to check it out buddy -said Julian softly, a little disappointed, but tried to not lose hope. Stood up and left the gun on the night stand next to the snacks, and left the room.

- _Fuck off!_ \- said lower to himself pointing at the wound. “You had to fuck this up too”. He started to feel like he had to confess to Julian he was not feeling that great, as he actually was not feeling ok at all. But was so happy to know Julian could get turned on with him, and that if the situation was different, they could have great sex together. God how he wanted that, he wanted to see Julian getting to climax and having an orgasm, even if he didn’t at that specific moment. Ricky took the gun, and started pointing it, playing with it, dreaming awake about the possibilities with his bad boy Julian, looking around the neat bedroom. He was so curious to see Julian, walking shirtless with his pants wide open around the trailer maybe with his erection still stiff under the clothes with all his manliness, he felt like that whole situation was a waste of time, so once again tried to get up and see.

Julian entered back to the room -Hey bud, when I called Sam caveman said in cases like this, we should… 

Ricky fell down in front of him, with the pistol in his hand accidentally triggering it.

/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/  
Bubbles knocked with all his hand the door two or three times -Julian! Julian! Is somebody in there? Are you ok!?

-Fuck you Ricky! You’re so Fucking stupid! **I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! AAHH** -Heard Bubbles from outside, and decided to break in as he remembered the scene of Ricky walking drunk with his gun. 

When he went through the door just saw a big, shirtless man going backwards that stumbled with him making the both of them fall down on their asses, and made pressure onto his right arm. Bubbles knelt at Julian’s side on the floor with shaking hands not knowing where to put them, looking for a threat, and there just in front of them, in all his naked glory was an extremely pale Ricky on his knees, with a gun in his hand.

- **YOU TRIED TO KILL JULIAN! YOU TRIED TO KILL JULIAN! YOU GREASY STUPID FUCKING IDIOT!** \- Screamed Bubbles at Ricky, trying to hold Julian. -YOU ARE NAKED, WHY ARE YOU NAKED AND TRYING TO KILL JULIAN?

-I FUCKING DIDN’T YA IDIOT! I AM NOT TRYING TO...- answered Ricky coming closer, and Bubbles ran towards him, took the gun from his hands without resistance and coming back to Julian pointed at the redhead, and noticed the blood on his hands making him more nervous.

-Hold on Bub- Bubbles!! Listen to me! - Julian screaming too tried to get Bubbles hand to make him understand, and the three of them lasted some minutes aggressively screaming nonsense at each other, Julian holding Bubbles hands towards him as he threatened Ricky with the gun every time that he tried to get close.

There was complete, utter chaos, until Julian hold Bubbles by the neck and took him closer to his face- **SHUT THE FUCK UP BUBBLES LISTEN TO ME! LISTEN TO ME! I’M OK, I’M OK…**

Finally, Bubbles tried to believe him and stopped screaming and started crying, and when the energy on the room went down, Ricky leaned on the wall and let out a big sigh in relief. 

-Fuck you Bubbles. I didn’t shoot Julian it was a fucking accident- said Ricky slipping all the way down to the floor.  
-Bubbles, I think we need to call an ambulance for Ricky.  
-Julian, you’ve been shot!  
-This is nothing but a scratch, I’ll be fine, but he’s... -said Julian while Bubbles went to see better Ricky as he looked off, and noticed his lips were a little blue, and his arm had a bandage damp with blood. -I tried to take care of him myself but the wound opened again by accident...  
-Julian I’m so confused… What the hell is going on?  
-I’m getting scared he looks like _he will die_

Ricky didn’t say anything, just covered his parts with one hand, tried to fight the dizziness, he felt numb and heard Bubbles and Julian conversing very far away, until he closed his eyes for a second and everything disappeared.

/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/  
-And that’s how I found out those dumbass cocksuckers were bangin’ -Said Bubbles to the cats in Kittyland – No offense I forgot about the cocksucker thing… Ricky, almost dead on the floor from Hypovolemic shock, n-a-k-e-d as the day he was “bornt” like he says, a picture that’s fucking hard to forget. Julian, a shirtless, muscular samsquanch shot in front of me, I wonder how none of them fucking died. They are so fucking stupid they almost died trying to bang, I thought the dumbest people here were Cory and Trevor but, in this scenario, now it’s hard to tell. I have so many questions Kitties, that I am afraid to ask. Ricky is doing ok, still recovering, and I’ve been going with Julian sometimes to give him daisies and to bring trinity at the hospital -then leaned as if he was telling them a secret, and whispered -But sometimes I tell Julian I am busy, so he has to go alone- and laughed, excited. -, I always knew the boys were in love, but I never thought they would understand it. Oh, my fucking god, how I wish to forget Ricky’s damn bird!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you a lot for reading this nonsense. Cheers.


End file.
